Read the amazing LGBT interview we had with this two wonderful members of the LGBT community. Be inspired with their experiences!
Of course, as many people know… you can’t help who you fall in love with but we hope that these interviews help shed some light into how society affects people who are different enough to stand out but also share enough traits to fit in. The three people in this LGBT interview being interviewed are all bisexual but in long term relationships with people of their opposing gender.
Ignacio is a 25 year old man who has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for the last 12 years. They live together and both work in the creative field as illustrators and graphic designers. Let’s get to know him more in this LGBT Interview.
Leah is a 28 year old woman who has been in a relationship with her husband for 10 years. They live together and she works as a research biologist while her husband is a digital artist with a math degree.
As all things tend to begin I’d like to know about your childhood. Anything that stands out in particular about the way you were raised?
Ignacio: There isn’t anything that really stands out, both of my parents are amazing and I was never inclined to repress what I felt or anything of the sort.
Leah: My parents divorced when I was little, so even though I saw my dad frequently, I was mostly raised by my mom and other female relatives. My mom is quite liberal in some aspects, particularly for her generation, so even though we never discussed sexuality, I was generally raised in a very open-minded environment. As a kid I mostly liked “boys stuff”, including dressing up as male characters, and I never felt like my mom or the other women at home discouraged it one bit (probably because my mom herself had been a bit like that when she was a kid). So when I found out homosexuality was a thing, I didn’t for one moment think it was wrong. It just was.
A lot of bisexual men and women say that they didn’t find their identity until they were older? Was this your case and if it was what were some of the reasons you felt contributed to you not knowing you were attracted to both genders? Check out this LGBT interview!
Ignacio: I truly found out about my bisexuality once I reached adolescence and started interacting with people in ways I never had, be it on an emotional or sexual level. The people I interacted with were also very open, and didn’t mind any sexual orientation. It was honestly a great way to be open to one another and let relationships with individuals flow organically.
Leah: I realized I was bisexual when I was 13. I think this didn’t happen before because I don’t fall for people very often. Before then, I had only been into two kids and they just so happened to be boys. The third person I fell for (when I was 13) was a girl. I think it also has to do with the fact that if you think you only like boys, you’ll sort of be looking only for that, you’ll be expecting that, you’ll be more open to that. In retrospect, I can certainly recognize some signs that point to the fact that I was attracted to girls as well, but I suppose I dismissed them subconsciously at the time.
How did the realization that you were bisexual affect you? Any positive or negative memories associated with that you’d be willing to share?
Ignacio: I didn’t have many ups and downs to be frank, I kind of just accepted it quickly and let things play out. Again, the context in which I discovered myself was fairly healthy.
Leah: I distinctly remember the moment I realized. I was washing my hands in the school washroom and my train of thought went like this: ‘I LIKE this girl, like, the way I’ve liked boys before. That must mean I’m bisexual… Oh well. *Mental shrug*”. It was 100% a non-issue for me. I was more concerned with whether I had a chance with this girl than with my new-found sexuality.
Have you had people comment how ‘you seemed gay’ or ‘you don’t seem gay at all’? What is your typical reaction to those comments?
Ignacio: To this day, people often speculate if I am gay, and to be completely honest I’m not sure why. I guess it has to do with the fact I don’t really act or talk like most men do, but I don’t have accentuated mannerisms either.
Leah: Not really, no. Occasionally I get a “Ohh, that makes sense” because I’ve made comments about girls before, but that’s about it.
Did you ever have to ‘come out’ to your parents? If you did how was it? If you didn’t then do you think you would now even though you’re married/in a serious relationship with someone of the opposite gender?
Ignacio: I never did, but you could say I’ve insinuated it in certain ways to the point they know. There hasn’t been any backlash at all, and honestly I don’t believe they would even mind, but I like not having to state it, and just be able to describe specific or certain events or thoughts instead.
Leah: I never did. Not because I didn’t want them to know, but rather because I never discussed sexuality with my parents. In fact, I wanted them to know without us ever having to talk about it. I was even very open about it to people I thought might tell them. And from the age of 16 or so, I felt like I was ready to introduce them to a female partner if I ever got into a serious relationship with one, but at that age I started dating the guy I’m currently married to, so that hasn’t occurred.
Do you still have a fear of coming out to your family?
Ignacio: To my entire family, probably yes, because I would imagine it would be an ongoing topic between family members and that would bother me greatly.
Leah: I don’t think it was ever fear. I never thought my mom, my dad or my stepdad would disapprove of me for that. It was more like awkwardness. I think that even today I would feel as awkward telling them I’m bi as I would feel telling them my husband and I had sex last night. I’m perfectly fine with them knowing, I just don’t want to have that conversation, heh.
You both chose to remain anonymous for this interview. Why did you feel that was important?
Ignacio: Maybe it’s just my own paranoia, but I choose to remain anonymous for every interview if I can.
Leah: Mostly fear that it might affect my career somehow, although I don’t think the chances of that happening are very high.
Your partners know of your sexual identity. How do you think that has impacted them? Do you ever feel apologetic about your identity because of situations they’re in?
Ignacio: I have never felt apologetic, because my partner is in fact bisexual as well, so there has been a lot of mutual understanding and empathy between us.
Leah: I think it was painful for him at first because when we met I was more interested in girls. So while he fell for me rather quickly, it took me longer and he knew my being bisexual contributed to that. I’ve never felt like he wishes I was straight, though, and I think that’s the reason I’ve never felt bad for him for being bi.
What are some of the negative reactions you have gotten to your identity?
Ignacio: Mostly it’s just the gossip and speculation behind it, which I despise.
Leah: Not many. I’ve had a couple of guys question whether I’m really into girls. I can understand their skepticism to some degree, since I’ve been with my husband since I was 16, so I try to explain as best as I can. This one guy kept pushing, though, to the point where I actually got angry. I’d never had my sexuality questioned like that before and it is frustrating. I guess that’s the worst reaction I’ve had. Compared to other LGBT people, I’ve had it easy.
If there was anything you could tell the world about your identity and how it’s treated what would you say?
Ignacio: Your sexual orientation, whichever that may be, should not be a pillar of judgment as it is today. Let your relationships with people flow without being guided by rumors and assumptions, which evolve into misconceptions.
Leah: I would encourage straight and homosexual people to understand that it’s not black & white for everybody, and bi people (and everybody) to always be honest about their sexual identity as long as they feel like it’s safe to be.
A common misconception of bisexuals is that they have a harder time finding a partner that accepts them as they are, particular when it comes to gay partners. Do you have any experiences with this and why do you think this is?
Ignacio: I have not had that experience, and I suppose if has to do with the fact that I choose my friends very wisely, and who I let in my circle of trust.
Leah: I’ve had no experience with this. I’ve only wanted to go serious with that first girl I fell in love with. It didn’t happen, but not at all because she didn’t want to be with a girl who also liked boys.
Finally… how tired are you of people asking if you have a ton of threesomes?
Ignacio: I don’t get that question too often, so not much.
Leah: Hahahaha. I don’t get that question all that often, maybe because I’m a girl? I think it might be my husband who’s tired of it.
It is important to note that both Leah and Ignacio are very lucky in the way that their families have received them and how open they are. Sadly there is still a stigma with being honest and open in the work force but we hope with time we won’t need pseudonyms and we can all live as part of a love rainbow and not a cloud of judgment. Hope you enjoyed this LGBT interview.