Gay and in Debt – A Lifestyle Dilemma

Gay Problems, A Lifestyle Dilemma

I keep asking myself what could I have possibly spent the money on. If I had been clubbing and shopping my life away, I would at least have something to remember it by. Instead I am left with regrets and stress. Because I am a single gay man, there is pretty much nobody I can rely on to help me out and this is one of my gay problems. My adopted family is very good on the phone but not so good in person. They happened to have unexpectedly had biological children after me and made it clear afterwards that they would rather I was sent back to the institution. Of course, they were not allowed to do that but the message had been sent to me. I have kept away from them since.

I am actually not your typical irresponsible millennial. I went to vet school and did well. I have a decent job that gives me a good living. The problem is that I am sitting on a mountain of debt that I accumulated during my university years. It is hard not to be resentful when I notice that my other adopted siblings had all their fees paid for by our loving parents. I, on the other hand, was left to fend for myself. My adopted mum says that I am living beyond my means. I asked her what my means were. Here I was renting and paying almost all my earnings in student debt. My estimated green line date is in 2027. That is when I will be into my middle age phase.

How can it be fair that I have to wait until 40 before I can start living? Mum says that I must be cursed or something because all the gay people she has seen on television have lots of money. She amazingly asks where I have put my money, as if gay people somehow get an extra allowance for their sexuality. All the support networks rely on.


The Unwanted Child

Gay Problems
Gay Problems – Gay and in Debt | Love is a Rainbow

Sadly; I have to say that my experiences of adoption have convinced me that it is one of the most abused institutions of our time. I shudder to think that people like my parents are ever allowed to adopt children. They are simply not equipped to adopt. My mum keeps telling me that she saved my life and that I would not be alive if it had not been for her. I am somehow doubtful of her story but there are other very interesting things that reveal her character and mindset during the adoption process. She tells me that she had reached the big 40 and had failed to have children despite having a normal sex life…yes, she does occasionally remind me that she has a good sex life even up to date.

My dad is one of those put-upon men who have been so brow-beaten that they have given up. He no longer bothers and will simply say yes to everything that she asks in order to have a quiet life. Then mum has this fantasy of a very happy marriage in which everyone looks up to her. Woe to anyone that challenges this view. Her “natural children” call her Lucrezia Borgia, not without good reason I might add. She has single-handedly destroyed all their relationships. They have now taken to not turning up at all or hiding their girlfriends and boyfriends in order to stop her poisonous web.

Anyway, from the outset it was made very clear by my parents (and mum in particular) that I was an unwanted child and that they would have preferred if they had had natural children earlier. Apparently I was a last ditch effort. They could not quite belief when my mum got pregnant at 43 and went on to produce two sets of fraternal twins. The doctors apparently told them that it might be an offshoot of all the treatments that she had received for her fertility problems. The upshot was that I was left with a family that would rather have sent me back to that soulless institution from which they picked me up.

Gay Problems And Financial Woes Begin

Gay Problems
Gay Problems – Gay and in Debt | Love is a Rainbow

I started really suffering at 16, although mum had already set up the foundations way back when she told me about her views on my adoption. The financial aid just stopped at 16. She said I was gay and that gay people were always rich so I could look after myself. I remember there was a time when she told me that I was an evolutionary failure and there was no need for her to spend her time on me when my genes would be ending the moment I breathed my last.

To be really honest; I did enjoy the freedom of having to run my own affairs at 16. This was a woman I had grown to despise, if not slightly dislike. I felt that I was well rid of her and her stupid theories. I moved out of the house and got a flat at an affordable rent. There were some loans if you were going to college so I took the opportunity. I actually did very well…so well that my precious mother insisted that the final graduation should be about her since she is the one that rescued me from “certain death”.

The funds kept rolling in but I figured I was safe since none of the spending was frivolous. When I got a job, I started to pay off the credit card debts and went back to zero. I then started to maintain my living expenses comfortably with a few savings. Meanwhile I had been given a grace period on the school loans which came up to about $90,000 at the end of my university course. That is when the interest started piling up. Now I have debts that come to $150,000. If I was able to starve myself and live on the streets whilst working, I could pay that debt off in two years. However, that seems like an impossible choice.

I Begin to Ask for Help

Gay Problems
Gay Problems – Gay and in Debt | Love is a Rainbow

I have to tell you that I am outraged that all the taxes I have paid into the system mean zilch when it comes to my needs. Because I am single and do not have a “family”; I am considered to be a non-priority by the government. My real taxes keep going up while those of my straight colleagues who have married are beginning to go down with all the tax credits. The officials tell me that their priorities are for those that have family responsibilities. Needless to say, I feel as if I am being taken advantage of. If I am not entitled to full support then by all means, I should only pay a portion of the taxes. I know that Uncle Sam is not going to let that happen any time soon.

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On the family front, it remains a hopeless case. My mum is determined to glory in my downfall. She said that I should not have attended a fancy college. Instead she was hoping I could become a landscaper. She conveniently forgets that her own biological children have good careers after going to university, all paid by her. I accept that I am not really her responsibility and she can spend her money as she wishes. However, I get fed up with her constant criticisms and suggestions that I spent a fortune on clothes. She even had the audacity to suggest that I must have a “fancy man” who was using up all my money. “He does not love you. He just wants your money”. She spoke of this mythical fortune hunter as if she had caught us together in bed.

I Will Sort This Thing Out

Gay Problems
Gay Problems – Gay and in Debt | Love is a Rainbow

The future is not entirely bleak but I resent how I have been treated by the system. I plan to open up my own surgery the moment that I have paid off the debt. Some of my friends have suggested that I go bankrupt. After all the current President of the USA is a multiple bankrupt. Maybe it is the strict upbringing I experienced; but I do not really believe in forcing other people to take responsibility for your actions. I want to pay my debts and will pay my debts. However, I want to do that at a pace that is not going to significantly affect my quality of life.

Recently my boyfriend has proposed (to the repeatedly expressed chagrin of my mum). I have accepted but do not want to burden him with debt. We are starting out our life and I want us to share everything, but I still want to have a relatively clean slate when we begin life as a married couple. This debt thing is causing me some stress. Mike is quite understanding and tells me not to worry because they are “bound to write it off sometime any way”. The thing is that I want to be a debt-free person but at the moment it seems like an impossibility unless I go on a serious starvation to end my gay problems.